


Homemade Happiness

by waitineedaname



Series: twenty idiots stumble into adulthood [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Tavros Nitram, Bigender Sollux Captor, Child Neglect, Deaf Meulin Leijon, Found Family, Friendship, Gamzee has godawful circumstances but his friends love him, Gen, Humanstuck, I promise this is so much happier of a fic than these tags seem, I will use every & tag and no one can stop me, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mute Kurloz Makara, Platonic Cuddling, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drug Use, except for Kankri because he's an asshole, formatted like a 5 +1 fic except 8 +1, the Vantas family basically adopts Gamzee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitineedaname/pseuds/waitineedaname
Summary: Gamzee didn't have much of a family to speak of. Just him and his brother, living in a nigh constant cycle of other people's homes. He never thought to seek out anything other than that.Lucky for him, family sought him out instead.





	Homemade Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> me every time a character has a vaguely sad childhood: what about.......... Found Family.....
> 
> this fic is pure indulgence. some folks asked me if I had anything else planned for the college au and mentioned they'd like to hear more about gamzee and I was like SAY NO MORE.
> 
> this will probably make more sense if you read the fic prior to this in the series! you don't have to read the davekat fic before that one, I just recommend reading An Evolution of Friendship before this one because some of the scenes fit in together. If you don't feel like doing that, then just know that in between 5 and 6, Sollux came out as nonbinary and Gamzee got into a fight defending them from an asshole at their school, and he got suspended. That's it!
> 
> oh also just in case it's not obvious, Signless's name is Kavi and Disciple's name is Dhara! also the background ships are Karkat/Terezi back when they're in high school, one-sided Gamzee/Tavros, and briefly implied Sollux/Feferi!

**1.**

It had been a month since Gamzee and Kurloz had moved in with their foster family, and Kurloz had yet to say a single word. Gamzee wasn’t sure he’d heard him say anything since they’d left their dad’s house, when their dad was taken away and they were told they would be taken some place else, far away from their dad. Gamzee didn’t mind not living with his dad anymore. He had yelled a lot, and he threw and hit things. Mostly Kurloz, who yelled and hit back. Rarely Gamzee, who had gotten good at disappearing when his dad’s temper rose. Kurloz took most of the hits for him anyway; he was ten and much bigger than Gamzee, so he could hit back harder. 

Kurloz didn’t seem to mind not living with their dad anymore either, but that didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t said a thing in ages. Gamzee was beginning to worry that his tongue might be broken, but when he asked, Kurloz had just snorted and stuck out his tongue to prove that yes, it was still there. 

It was the counselor at their new school that gave them the booklets on sign language and let them stay in the computer lab after class to watch tutorials. She even offered to drive them to the public library on weekends and over breaks, which Gamzee thought is real kind of her. He couldn’t read real well yet, being in kindergarten and all, but any chance to talk to his brother was welcome. 

Their foster parents must not have known that sign language was an option, he thought. That’s why they hadn’t bothered. Gamzee did the talking for the two of them most of the time, and he wasn’t sure what bothered his foster parents more: Kurloz’s silence or Gamzee’s babbling. The counselor though, she was nice and kind and helped the two of them improve their signing. He only admitted it to Kurloz once, but she felt more like a parent than their foster parents did.

Gamzee was eight when he got into his first fight. It wasn’t his fault, and that’s what he told the teachers and the principal, but they didn’t listen. They didn’t see the other kids calling him names and making fun of his ratty clothes and pushing him off the swingset. They just saw Gamzee and his bruised knuckles and fistfuls of the other kid’s hair and the bully’s big snotty tears.

Gamzee didn’t mind getting suspended, and moving to a new foster family after that didn’t even hurt that much. No, what really hurt was the disappointment in the counselor’s eyes as she escorted the bully to the nurse’s office.

**2.**

_ Are you fucking kidding me. _

“Sup, bro.” Gamzee was eleven, and he was slouching in the principal’s office. His brother stood in front of him, thoroughly unamused. 

_ How many days they get you for this time? _ Kurloz signed, and Gamzee shrugged.

“Four. And then four more days of detention after that. Hey, look, lost that wiggly tooth, though!” He opened his mouth wide to show off the gap leftover from a solid fist to the face.

_ Motherfucking unbelievable.  _ Kurloz let out a long sigh and checked Gamzee out at the front desk, gesturing for him to follow him. They climbed into Kurloz’s car, and he started driving them home. He got his license a couple months ago, and he bought the car using what he’d saved up from working part-time. It was a  _ run-down piece of shit _ and  _ a motherfucking miracle to keep running _ , according to Kurloz, but it was his, and no one was going to be able to take it from him. 

Gamzee leaned his head against the window, the coolness of the glass abating the headache that was coming on, but Kurloz snapped his fingers in front of his face before he can drift off.

_ You want to explain yourself? I don’t know you to make a goddamned spectacle with no reason, no matter how brainless that reason be. _

Gamzee snorted and looked down at his lap instead of responding. He picked at the mud caked on his jeans and thought back to the fight. How could he explain that he had been jittery all week, feeling out of his head, angry and excited all at once?

“Bullies, ‘s all.” He said instead, telling only half the truth. “Usual shit. You know they stole that resource kid’s backpack?”

Kurloz looked over at him out of the corner of his eye, and Gamzee did his best to hold his gaze. After a minute of weighing his honesty, Kurloz sighed and pushed at Gamzee’s head playfully, tugging at some of the curls.

_ Never fucking staying in your lane, never learned to mind your own motherfucking business, always having to pull their rage onto yourself. _

“So you ain’t mad?” Gamzee said hopefully.

_ I’m mad.  _ Kurloz paused, choosing his next signs carefully.  _ But I’ll make sure them foster parents don’t discover your suspension. _

Gamzee sighed in relief and sent him a grin. “Thanks, bro.”

_ Stupid little brother.  _ Kurloz tugged his curls again and laughed when Gamzee pushed him away, laughing too.

**3.**

“Gamzee!”

“Hey, M-” Gamzee was cut off as Meulin scooped him up in a tight hug, and he laughed. 

Gamzee liked Meulin, with her big hair and bigger smile. He didn’t even mind how her hearing aids didn’t work half the time and the effect it had on her volume control; there wasn’t ever any anger in her yelling, just friendliness and cheer. Kurloz smiled at Meulin like she’d hung the moon, and Gamzee wasn’t going to complain.

Speaking of Kurloz, Gamzee peered further into Meulin’s living room to find him hunched over some strange glass contraption on the couch. Gamzee tilted his head, puzzled, but he followed Meulin over anyway. “What’s that?” He asked.

“Oh, it’s my new bubbler!” Meulin answered, her hands moving rapidly to sign as she spoke. “My parents are out until tomorrow, so I thought Kurloz and I would try it out.”

“Uh, what’s it bubble?” Gamzee sat on the other side of the couch, Meulin between him and Kurloz. Meulin giggled a little.

_ The most miraculous motherfucking herb, the- _ Kurloz started to describe it in that over-the-top way he did sometimes, but Gamzee’s face clearly read confusion, so Kurloz rolled his eyes and simply signed,  _ Weed. _

“...Ohhhh,” was all Gamzee said. 

Meulin laughed again and grinned at him. “Do you wanna smoke with us?”

“For fucking real?” Gamzee said, surprised.

“Yeah! Just don’t smoke it all.” She teased. Gamzee looked over at Kurloz, but he just shrugged and passed Meulin the bubbler. She inhaled and demonstrated how to hit it, then passed it to Gamzee.

He coughed his lungs out on his first inhale, and they both laughed at him, but he didn’t mind because his head got all floaty, and all the jittery nerves that had been jangling inside him were soothed.

Kurloz eventually cut him off a few hits later, declaring he was going to  _ smoke all his motherfucking weed without paying a thing, little motherfucking freeloader _ , but he didn’t seem real mad, and Gamzee couldn’t give a damn anyway. He was happy to lay back on Meulin’s couch in the happy warmth of their company and a heavy layer of fog in his brain.

**4.**

The smoking meant they went through two more foster families by the time Gamzee started high school, but that was okay because Kurloz had graduated by then, and Gamzee can smoke at the apartment his brother shared with Meulin any time he wanted. His new foster dad didn’t seem to give a damn what he did, so long as he stayed out of his way. That arrangement was all kinds of fine with Gamzee. He was fourteen, and he was more than able to handle himself. So long as he had access to food and a bed, he ain’t complaining. He didn’t plan on switching foster parents and schools all over again, not now that he was in high school.

It was high school that brought him the first real friends he’d made in years.

It was hard making new friends every time he moved schools, and eventually he stopped trying so hard. Karkat, however, was a force to be reckoned with when he put his mind to something. 

He didn’t like it at first when he was forced to sit with Gamzee. He was all kinds of attached to sitting with that scrawny Asian kid he always hung out with, and he clearly would’ve rather stayed with his best friend, or at least gotten moved to sit next that blind girl that joined in on their bickering sometimes. But he couldn’t argue with the teacher about moving him to sit with Gamzee, and once he realized Gamzee wasn’t going to just mooch off his answers, he started to warm up to him. 

Of course, for Karkat, warming up to a person seemed to mean a different kind of scowl in his greeting, but Gamzee didn’t mind that. People had greeted him with worse. 

Even so, it was still a shock when Karkat caught his eye during one lunch period and ordered him to sit with him and help him win an argument.

“What’re y’all gettin’ all up in a fuss about?” Gamzee asked, putting his lunch tray across from Karkat. Karkat grabbed a half-eaten cup of applesauce and a discolored Jello cup and slid them both his way. The blind girl was barely concealing her giggles beside him.

“Eat these.” Karkat demanded.

“Uh. What?” 

“Jesus, KK, you’re gonna make him think we’re trying to poison him.” That was that friend of Karkat’s, the one with the funky eyes that he’d sat himself next to. Pollux or something?

“You’d think he was, with all the complaining you two have been doing,” said the girl beside Karkat, sticking out her tongue and laughing. 

“No- fuck, I’m not trying to poison you.” Karkat attempted to clarify. “Terezi put hot sauce in her applesauce and ketchup in her Jello because she’s a goddamn lunatic. Sollux and I are trying to decide which one is more of an affront to nature.”

“The answer is  _ clearly  _ neither.” Terezi said, directing it somewhere over his shoulder. “You’re just cowards.”

“Ohh, well you should’ve been sayin’ that, my brother.” Gamzee said amiably, grabbing his plastic spoon and scooping out some applesauce. He ate it with mild contemplation, then ate a bite of the Jello. The other three waited with bated breath. “If I’m being all kinds of motherfuckin’ honest, they’re both fuckin’ good.”

Karkat and Sollux groaned while Terezi hooted in victory. “Useless!” Karkat declared. “What fucking use are you if you’re not going to take my side?”

“Uh,” Gamzee hesitated, “I can get going if you want me to, bro.”

“Did I say that? No, keep your ass there.” Karkat sat back and crossed his arms, looking displeased. “I can’t fucking believe there’s another person on the planet that would enjoy this goddamn monstrosity. I knew Terezi’s sense of taste was broken-”

“Clearly, if she’s dating you.” Sollux said, making Terezi laugh. The two high-fived, and Karkat glowered at them. 

“Is everyone out to make my life hell today?”

“Today and all other days.” Terezi teased, kissing Karkat’s cheek. He squawked and squirmed away.

“Sorry to be adding to the hell-making.” Gamzee said, relaxing and smiling now that he knew he wasn’t going to be kicked away from their table for disagreeing. “I just get at eating most anything. I ain’t no kind of picky.”

“Clearly.” Karkat said, grimacing. “You’re eating the school’s bullshit lunch, I should’ve known better. Past-Karkat should’ve seen the horrible pile of diarrhea on top of your ‘pasta’ that’s exactly the same as their taco ‘meat’ and realized you were a lost fucking cause.”

“Food’s food, motherfucker.” Gamzee scooped up a forkful of pasta and popped it into his mouth to prove his statement, and he had to try not to choke when Karkat’s disgusted face made him laugh.

“Yeah, but is that even food?” Sollux said, looking at Gamzee’s tray of food with a mildly nauseous expression. “Hey, TZ, I dare you to put some of that meat sauce in your applesauce.”

“Challenge accepted!” Terezi shoved her applesauce in Gamzee’s direction, and he obligingly scooped some meat sauce into the cup. She promptly dumped all of it in her mouth, and Karkat and Sollux wretched in unison. Gamzee laughed, not minding how loud he was being.

“Hell yeah, sister! Off the motherfucking  _ shits _ .”

“Damn right!” She declared, not minding that she still had food in her mouth. Karkat buried his face in his hands and moaned something that sounded like  _ ‘I can’t believe I kiss that mouth.’ _

Sollux kept coming up with more horrifying concoctions for Gamzee and Terezi to eat while Karkat’s horror rose until the bell finally rang for them to leave for class. Warmed by Terezi’s sharp cackles, Sollux’s barely restrained delight, and Karkat’s exaggerated rage, Gamzee found that he was happier than he’d been in weeks. 

**5.**

Karkat’s front door opened under Gamzee’s knocks to reveal what appeared to be just a taller Karkat. The boy looked Gamzee up and down and turned his nose up slightly.

“Hello.” He said, his mouth twisting in a tiny frown. “Can I help you?”

“Hey, brother,” Gamzee smiled in greeting, “Karkat invited me over.”

The boy’s eyes narrowed sharply, and he yelled further into the house. “Karkat! Someone’s here for you.”

“Gamzee, you dense fuck, I told you to text me when you were on the way!” came Karkat’s response. 

“Ah, shit, did you?” Gamzee pushed by Karkat’s older brother, who stepped aside now that he knew Gamzee wasn’t an intruder. “I didn’t have my phone on me, sorry ‘bout that.”

“What fucking kid our age doesn’t keep their phone on them?” Sollux said from the couch, having apparently arrived before him.

“Ain’t like it works half the time, anyway.” Gamzee shrugged, dropping himself down on Karkat’s other side. Sollux gave him a weird look.

“Is your phone old?”

“Uh, I guess? Got it used, but s’probably, I dunno, seven years old?” His foster dad had finally agreed to get him a phone for emergencies only, and Kurloz had to pay for half of the initial cost. Gamzee knew he’d probably have to pay for the bills as soon as he got himself a job, which would be soon, certainly. Sollux spluttered on the other side of the couch.

“You fucked up,” Karkat told Gamzee with a tone he’d learned was Karkat’s form of amused annoyance, “Sollux is going to steal your phone and somehow program it to run the new operating system or something.”

“Seven years old, KK!” Sollux sounded horrified. “At this point it’s my civic fucking duty!”

Gamzee was about to say more, but a soft “ahem” reminded him that Karkat’s brother was still fidgeting in the doorway. Karkat’s expression immediately morphed from amused annoyance to genuine annoyance.

“What the fuck do you want, Kankri.” Karkat said, leaning his head back on the couch to shoot his brother a glare. Kankri jutted his chin out and held his gaze.

“I just thought it would be worth saying,” He said with a haughty air, “That though it is admirable of you to want to take pity on your... less  _ fortunate  _ peers, I would advise you to be careful with your choices in those you hang around. Studies have shown that the people one associates oneself with in high school can have lasting effects on one’s social circle and often reflect where one will end up later in life.”

Karkat gaped at him, then shut his mouth and gritted his teeth. “You better not be saying what I think you’re saying.”

“All I’m saying is it would be unfortunate if my brother ended up-” Gamzee almost missed the way Kankri’s eyes flicked to him, “-addicted to drugs or homeless or arrested. You have a future to think about.”

“Oh my sweet asschafing  _ fuck,  _ are you kidding me?!” Karkat exuded fury and looked like he wanted to throw something. “You have the nerve to lecture me on  _ my  _ friend choices?” Kankri opened his mouth again, and Karkat actually did throw something, chucking a book from the coffee table in his direction. Kankri yelped and dodged the projectile. “No, fuck you, leave us the fuck alone! Go lecture people online, you useless stinking airbag, and come back when you actually  _ have  _ friends!” Kankri disappeared from the doorway, shooting them the finger on the way out and saying something that was made unintelligible by Karkat’s continued verbal rampaging. Gamzee stared blankly at the doorway, unsure of what just happened.

“God,” Sollux said once Karkat took a breath, “he really is always like that, huh.”

“It’s fucking infuriating.” Karkat snarled, sitting back against the couch and fuming.

“Remember that comment about epilepsy he made when he met Mituna?”

“How could I forget? Your cousin came up with ways to cuss Kankri out that surprised  _ me _ . Remind me to give Mituna a fucking medal.”

“I don’t mean to get interrupting,” Gamzee said, still a little bemused, “but what was that all’s about?”

“Kankri has taken it upon himself to be the most judgmental, self-righteous chunk of human shaped vomit, and that manifests in him telling me how to live my fucking life and talking shit about the people in it under the masquerade of being ‘helpful.’” Karkat explained with a sneer. Gamzee was still a little confused, but he smiled.

“Well, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a brother looking out for a brother.” He said, thinking of all the times Kurloz had gotten him out of a bad situation. “Better than him not lookin’ out at all.”

“Trust me, I don’t want his fucking help.”

“Can we stop talking about Kankri and watch the fucking movie already?” Sollux complained, sliding off the couch a little.

“Oh, are you getting impatient?” Karkat turned on Sollux. “You know, I think I’m going to take my fucking time! Maybe make a sandwich! Go for a walk! Do you have somewhere to be, asslick?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a date with your mom.” Sollux said, laughing when Karkat lunged across the couch. The two scuffled for a moment, though it was clear they’d gone back to their usual standard of bickering and the rage earlier had been abated, so Gamzee let himself relax and smile at their antics. Karkat ended up with Sollux’s foot in his face, scrambling for the remote as Sollux  _ finally  _ hit play.

The movie binge was mostly for Gamzee’s benefit. The two of them had discovered with horror that he’d never seen Star Wars and immediately ordered him over to watch the original trilogy (they both raged against the prequels, but then got into a heated argument about something called the Clone Wars. It all went over Gamzee’s head, but he was happy just to spend time with them.) He enjoyed the first movie he saw, though he didn’t understand most of what was going on. The laser swords were pretty cool and the dude in all black looked like a fucking badass. The time passed mostly uneventfully, with the occasional peppering of Gamzee asking questions about the characters and Sollux making jokes about the sillier aspects of the movie.

They were about halfway through the second film when they heard the front door open. A man’s voice called out a greeting, and Karkat shouted back, “In here, Appa!”

A man that was clearly Karkat’s father walked into the room and dropped his keys into a dish on the bookshelf. Gamzee tensed. “Oh, Empire Strikes Back!” The man said warmly. “That’s the best one. I’ve told you about how I saw-”

“You saw it twenty-five times in the theater by hiding whenever the people cleaning the theater came by, yeah, you’ve told me, dad.” Karkat said, rolling his eyes. The man just chuckled, then raised his eyebrows when he finally noticed Gamzee.

“Who’s this?”

“That’s Gamzee.” Karkat jerked his thumb at him. “I’ve mentioned him before.”

“Hi mister, uh, Karkat’s dad.” Gamzee was about half a second from bolting. He’d never seen a parent that was enthusiastic about more kids hanging around, he really ought to get going- “I was just watchin’ at the movie with Karkat, I ain’t mean to take your living room. I can start to heading home-”

“Gamzee,” Karkat’s dad held up his hands and smiled placatingly, “First of all, you can just call me Kavi, no need for formalities here. Secondly, you’re not taking the living room at all! In fact, my wife and I were planning on making that bhindi masala fry I remember you liking so much, Sollux, so you’re all welcome to stay for dinner if you like.”

“Oh,” Gamzee blinked, surprised that such generosity would be offered so easily, “Well if you’re sure I ain’t bothering anybody, that sounds hells of nice.”

“Thanks Mr. K.” Sollux said, adding, “My dad says hi, by the way.”

“Oh! How is Simon doing?” Kavi said happily. “He’s not working himself to death, is he?”

“When is he not working himself to death?” Sollux said, and Kavi laughed.

“Alright, fair. Tell him he better take off work for our barbecue this weekend, though.”

“Got it.” Sollux nodded and tapped away a text.

Kavi stepped away and let them finish their movie. They managed to finish Empire Strikes Back, Sollux and Karkat radiating smug amusement when Gamzee was bewildered by the fact that Darth Vader was Luke’s dad, before Karkat’s mom called them to the kitchen to start dishing up their dinners. 

“Oh! You must be Gamzee.” Karkat’s mom greeted him as Karkat started dumping rice on his plate. “I’m Dhara.”

“Hey,” Gamzee smiled, still a little off balanced by how friendly Karkat’s parents were being, “Thanks for lettin’ me be eating your dinner and all.”

“Of course! We always make too much anyway.” She winked conspiratorially, then put a plate in his hands. “Take as much as you like and have a seat at the table.”

Gamzee paused in the middle of scooping okra onto his plate. “Y’all eat at the dinner table?”

“Yeah?” Karkat sent him an odd look, filling a few glasses with water. “You don’t?”

“Nah, I usually just eat in my room.” Gamzee shrugged. He missed Dhara’s surprised expression.

“Well, mom and dad like all of us to eat together so they can interrogate us about our day.” Karkat said, rolling his eyes.

“Karkat!” Dhara sounded vaguely scandalized, though there was humor in her tone. “We don’t interrogate you!”

“What else would you call the endless questions?”

“Well, we wouldn’t have to ask you so many questions if you just told us about your day.” She tugged him into her arms in the middle of his path to the table and kissed the top of his head despite his squawks. “We just want to know you’re doing well, mishti.”

“Mom!” Karkat complained, clearly embarrassed. Dhara laughed and let him go, ushering Gamzee to the table in the process. He ended up sitting next to Sollux and across from Karkat. Kankri sat as far away from Gamzee as he could and sent him annoyed looks that Gamzee blissfully ignored. Just as Karkat had claimed, Kavi and Dhara set to asking their sons about their day. Karkat gave them short and snippy answers, more concerned with his food and his attempts to kick Sollux under the table, but Kankri’s responses were so long and detailed that Kavi seemed to regret asking, though Dhara’s cheerful poker face didn’t break.

“So, Gamzee,” Kavi said, shifting the topic away from Kankri’s prolonged explanation about why he thought the very concept of a gym class was problematic. Gamzee looked up with a mouthful of food, surprised to be addressed, “Karkat has mentioned you’re new to the school district.”

“Oh, yeah!” Gamzee nodded. “Moved here last summer. I didn’t live too far away before, though, so it ain’t much of a change.”

“Do you like the new school?” Dhara asked.

“I mean, a school’s a school, ain’t much difference between ‘em. S’nice enough, though, I ain’t got any complaints.” He shrugged.

“I hope it wasn’t too stressful changing schools. It can be hard leaving friends-” Kavi stopped when Gamzee shook his head.

“Oh, nah, I didn’t leave no friends behind. Karkat and Sol are the first folks to be taking a shining to me in a longass time.” He grinned at Karkat, who looked a little bit like a deer caught in the headlights. “Didn’t have many friends at my old schools.”

“Oh.” Kavi said, taken off guard. “I’m sorry to hear that, Gamzee.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Not like I could make many friends when I’m changin’ foster families every year.” Gamzee shrugged and took another bite of his food, completely missing the surprised expressions on most of the table or the way Kavi opened his mouth to say something else, though he did look up when Kavi made a noise that sounded suspiciously like Dhara might have stomped on his foot. Dhara just smiled innocently at him.

“Well, we’re happy you’ve gotten to know Karkat. You’re welcome over any time, right Kavi?” She sent a look at sharp as claws at her husband, and he coughed.

“Of course, any friend of Karkat’s is always welcome.” Despite the odd mood set over the table that Gamzee couldn’t quite identify, Kavi and Dhara’s smiles seemed genuine, so he returned them.

“Hell yeah, that’s the motherfucking bitchtits!” He said. Kankri immediately choked on his drink, and Karkat and Sollux dissolved into barely contained snickers. Kavi and Dhara, to their credit, just looked amused. 

“Alright,” Dhara said, standing up and collecting a few of the plates, “Who wants ice cream?”

After their generous helpings of ice cream, it was finally decided that Sollux and Gamzee should be heading home. They seemed to be concerned that Gamzee intended to take the bus home after dark, but after his insistence that he does it all the motherfuckin’ time, it really ain’t no kind of worrisome, he was shown off with a tight hug from Dhara and Karkat’s embarrassed complaints. 

He was invited to dinner every week after that.

**6.**

Coming back to school after a suspension was never easy. Usually, it meant Gamzee was on thin fucking ice with his foster parents and his already high risk of being booted off to another home would skyrocket. But his current foster dad, surprisingly, didn’t seem to give a shit. Or maybe it wasn’t surprising - he didn’t give a shit about anything Gamzee did as long as he stayed out of his way. So Gamzee did. He wandered over to Karkat or Sollux’s houses in the afternoons, and sometimes Sollux would drive them around town so they could hang out like it wasn’t super fucking weird that Gamzee wasn’t at school. If they were too busy, he’d meet up with Kurloz or Meulin and get smoked out. It definitely wasn’t the worst suspension he’d had, not by a long shot.

But he’d forgotten what it was like to come back. He’d never really minded the way kids would whisper about him, or the way teachers would treat him differently than most other students. That had been the case all throughout school, he was more than used to it. But now it felt different, somehow. These weren’t kids he’d met at the beginning of the school year and would probably never see again when he inevitably had to move again. He was a junior now, and he’d known some of these students since he was fourteen. It made it sting just a little bit more, for some reason unknown to him. But he just shrugged it off as he always did and did his best to bear it. Whispers were nothing but just a buzzing backdrop, like a bothersome fly.

Those flies were a little harder to ignore when they cornered him in an empty hallway and got in his face, though.

“The fuck’s your deal, man?” spat the boy. “Why’d you have to go and be a fucking snitch?”

“Uh. What?” Gamzee asked, bewildered. This wasn’t the guy he’d gotten into the fight with before. That guy was a scrawny piece of meat, while this guy looked like he might be on the football team. Gamzee was tall, sure, but he wasn’t exactly muscular; this guy would probably end up hurting him a lot if he tried anything.

“Fucking ‘sensitivity training’? My boy Devin makes one joke, and you get them to make all the sports teams do some bullshit workshops on how to treat some goddamn special snowflakes? I mean, it’s bad enough you broke his nose. Maybe I should get some payback for him, huh?”

“Bro, for real, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Gamzee put his hands up to put some distance between them. He really didn’t want to get into a fight immediately after coming back. “I don’t know nothing about any workshops or whatever the fuck.”

“I do.” A sharp voice interrupted the two of them, drawing their attention to the sharp grinned girl clacking her cane down the hall.

“Terezi?” Gamzee said, surprised.

“Who the fuck are you?” said the bulky football player.

“Terezi Pyrope.” She said, extending a hand to shake. The boy ignored it, bewildered. “I would say nice to meet you, but you’re actually a repellant asshole and I wish you didn’t exist.”

“The fuck?” He repeated.

“I know about the workshops. Did you know hate speech is against school policy? I know, it’s so surprising, I’ll give you a second for your tiny brain to get a grasp on that idea.” Terezi continued, not actually giving him a second for anything. “You’d be amazed how little digging it took to find slurs on more than half of the Instagram accounts belonging to members of the various sports teams on campus - even videos of them being shouted at practices or in locker rooms with the whole team laughing along! The superintendent was definitely amazed when they were brought to his attention.”

The boy continued to gape at her like a beached fish.  _ “You’re _ the snitch?”

“Oh, me? No, I just happened to show a few of the videos to my mom. You know, out of horror and everything. How could I have known she’d have so much swaying power over the superintendent as the district attorney?” Terezi took a firm step forward, putting herself between him and Gamzee. Gamzee had to try not to laugh when the boy took a frightened step back, amused that this giant asshole was so scared of a blind girl half his size. Then again, this  _ was  _ Terezi they were talking about. “But if we were bringing up snitching, I’d hate to see what would happen to you if I told your coach and the principal you were threatening another student in the hallway. This would be, what, the third strike against you?” She sucked a breath between her teeth in faux sympathy. “It would really suck if you lost that football scholarship.”

“Uh,” The bully took another step back. Terezi jabbed her cane forward and slammed the end of it into his foot, grinning venomously. 

“Oops.” She said, tone innocent.

“Man, you’re fucking crazy!” He said, backing away from them both. Gamzee smiled serenely at him over Terezi’s shoulder as she waved. “Both of you! Leave me the hell alone!” With that, he ducked out of sight towards his classroom.

“Holy motherfucking shit, Terezi.” Gamzee said now that they were alone.

“Oh, I didn’t do this for you.” She warned, turning to face him. “I was simply doing what any good student would do.”

“Uh-huh.” He said with a smile. She whacked her cane at his leg, but he just laughed. “Seriously, that was all kinds of motherfuckin’ sweet of you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She rolled sightless eyes, but her smile was a little kinder than earlier. “Go back to class before you get written up for skipping.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” The shit people whispered in his next class were nothing with Terezi at his side.

**7.**

“-And then she made this weird comment about my wheelchair, which, first of all, wasn’t even a thing that made sense in the context of the conversation. She could have talked about anything that was not that, but she decided to talk about my wheelchair instead, and I suppose I should expect as much at this point, but it was still predictably horrible-”

Gamzee hummed to let Tavros know he was still listening, occupying himself with making sure the joint they were sharing didn’t leave ash all over the couch. He hadn’t expected Tavros to be the person to talk a lot when high, but he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. Listening to the brother talk freely and confidently was a privilege he cherished. “Man, I dunno why you hang out with the sister if she makes you all kinds of motherfuckin’ unhappy.” He said, once Tavros paused to take a breath. 

“I don’t know if I’d say we  _ hang out.” _ Tavros protested weakly.

“Don’t y’all play D&D together?”

“I mean… yeah…”

“Bro, you know you could just ask Sol to kick her out or whatever the fuck.”

“You don’t think that would just cause more problems?” Tavros asked, and he seemed to genuinely want Gamzee’s input. Gamzee shrugged loosely, propping his cheek on his hand on the back of the couch.

“Maybe. Seems like she’s causin’ problems no matter what.”

“You’re definitely right about that.” Tavros sighed and looked forlorn. Gamzee’s heart twinged a little, then rose with excitement as he thought of a way to cheer him up.

“Let’s stop talking about all this motherfuckin’ unpleasant shit.” He held up the joint and gave Tavros a smile. “You ever shotgunned?”

“Uh. I don’t think so? I don’t really smoke that often, and I don’t know what that is that you just said.”

“It’s easy!” Gamzee sat up, excited. “I’ll take a hit, and then pass you the smoke.”

“I’m guessing that you don’t mean from the joint.” Tavros looked a little suspicious, but Gamzee didn’t notice.

“Yeah, bro! Here, I’ll show you.” Gamzee took a hit from the joint and held it in his mouth, gesturing for Tavros to lean in closer. Tavros did, and Gamzee started to lean in to meet him halfway.

“Wait.” Tavros put his hand up to stop Gamzee before he could complete the motion. Gamzee frowned and leaned away to blow out the smoke somewhere that wasn’t Tavros’s face.

“What’s wrong, bro?” Gamzee asked, legitimately confused. Tavros looked a little queasy.

“Was- um. Was that-... Was that an excuse to kiss me?” Tavros asked. Gamzee frowned a little when Tavros stammered. He only did that when he was nervous, what the hell…

“Uh, yeah, kinda.” Gamzee shrugged like it wasn’t a bit deal. “You just seemed all kinds of bummed out, and I thought maybe we could make out a little and get you all cheered up and shit.”

“Wow. Uh. Oh jeez.” Tavros took a deep breath, looking even more upset. “That would- I don’t think that would cheer me up, Gamzee.”

“No?” Gamzee’s face fell, and Tavros visibly panicked.

“Not because of you! You’re- Well, you’re my friend, and you’re a cool guy and all, I just- I didn’t know you felt that way about me? And I kind of don’t feel that way about anyone?” Tavros fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “I’m, uh. I’m aroace.”

“Uh. What?” Gamzee blinked at him blankly.

“Aromantic and asexual? I don’t,” He took another steadying breath. “I don’t get crushes or anything.”

“Oh. Oh!” Gamzee processed that, and then smiled. “Why didn’t you just say that, brother?”

“Because? I didn’t want to make the situation uncomfortable? Even though it already was horrible levels of uncomfortable, just as soon as you suggested that.” Tavros said with a grimace.

“Nah, it wouldn’t have made nothing uncomfortable. I can be getting my respect on. I mean, that seems to me a pretty clear motherfucking ‘no,’ and who’d get in their fuss over something simple as that?”

“You’d be surprised.” Tavros muttered bitterly, then hazarded Gamzee a glance. “Are we… cool?”

“Yeah, we’re cool, bro. Cool as a motherfuckin’ popsicle.” Gamzee grinned, then gasped as he remembered he had popsicles in his fridge. “Shit, do you want a popsicle? I got grape flavored ones, they’re fucking delicious, bro.”

A smile cautiously reappeared on Tavros’s face. “That could be a thing I would enjoy. I think I’m done smoking, anyway.”

“You got it, brother.” Gamzee put out the joint and stood. “Why don’t you set up some motherfuckin’ Netflix or something.”

They ended up dripping popsicle juice on the couch while Tavros got extremely worked up over Pokemon, and Gamzee decided he’d take that over making out any time.

**8.**

Gamzee’s window faced the windows of a living room in the building next to his. He’d never met the occupants, but he liked watching them put up decorations for every holiday that passed: the brightly colored lights of Christmas, the mini Jack-o-lanterns of Halloween, the pastels of Easter. They didn’t have any lights strung up right now, or any lights on at all. In fact, nearly every building in sight was completely dark. It was the middle of the night, the time of night when both early risers and night owls were both asleep.

Gamzee, try as he might, was unfortunately awake.

He’d been laying there for hours now, exhausted to the bone and yet unable to fall asleep. He just… felt heavy.

He’d been taking meds for months now and going to therapy for a few weeks more than that. His diagnosis didn’t terrify him quite as much anymore, and he hadn’t had an episode nearly as bad as the one that prompted the diagnosis in the first place, but in moments of weakness like this, the guilt of it all rolled over him like the world’s biggest steamroller. 

It felt weird to look back on it - like he was looking back on something he watched happen, not something he was there for. But he remembered all of it, no matter how much he wished he didn’t. He remembered the paranoia, the distrust he had felt towards his friends, his classmates, his professors, and how he’d avoided all of them because of it. He remembered what both his therapist and Sollux later told him was probably mania, feeling keyed up and larger than life with all his emotions turned up to a thousand. The auditory hallucinations weren’t new, he’d been hearing and ignoring them for ages - wouldn’t do any good to have told any of his foster parents about them, he’d just get kicked out all that much quicker - but they were typically background chatter, conversations in the corner he just wasn’t part of. They hadn’t  _ addressed  _ him before, and he found he wasn’t fond of what they had to say on top of everything else going on.

And he remembered the worst day. Karkat had finally managed to pry him out of his room, insisting he go with him to a party despite all Gamzee’s snarling. Gamzee didn’t want nothing to do with those fuckers, and he told Karkat that, but Karkat was stubborn. Sollux probably would’ve made a joke about an unstoppable force versus an immovable object, but they were just as tense as Karkat and Gamzee.

It was just a get-together at Nepeta’s house, an excuse to get mutual friends in the same place and get a little drunk, a little stoned. It should have been nice.

Instead, Gamzee remembered how smoking did nothing to calm his racing thoughts, and he remembered drinking more than he did normally. He remembered Terezi, how she seemed on edge too, and how they were all over each other in Nepeta’s hallway bathroom. And then, not five minutes after they finally separated and left the room, screaming at each other, getting in each other’s faces and spitting insults and grabbing fistfuls of the other’s shirt in a way that wasn’t nearly as pleasant as it had been just a bit earlier. He remembered Equius getting between them, trying to get them to calm down, and then receiving the full brunt of Gamzee’s anger - and the full brunt of his weight as he slammed him into the nearest wall. He remembered hands pulling him away from Equius and Nepeta shoving him towards the front door, yelling at him to get out, and Karkat’s grip around his waist pulling him out the door. He remembered the sharp chill of the fall air and Karkat’s firm arms grounding him and the concern in Sollux’s eyes as they followed them out of the house, and he remembered the panic overtaking the rage. He remembered Sollux driving the three of them home, and he remembered crashing in his bed not long after.

Gamzee sighed and rolled onto his back, staring at his ceiling without really seeing it. He still hadn’t really managed to put things back together with Terezi. The girl seemed to have been going through her own shit, now that he thought about it, and he’d said some pretty hurtful things just because he knew it would hurt. He didn’t blame her for still being mad. Nepeta was pretty forgiving, but he hated the way Equius was tense around him these days. Well, tenser than normal.

No use thinking about it now. It would only make the depressive episode worse. But he was just  _ frustrated _ . He couldn’t even use his regular coping tactics. Normally, he’d smoke to get himself out of his head, but he’d just run out of weed and wouldn’t be getting any more until next week. He could text Tavros, but he was probably asleep. If he was awake at this time of night, that meant he was probably dealing with his own shit, and as much as Gamzee loved helping a brother out of an anxiety attack, it wasn’t exactly easy when his own brain was committing mutiny. The same went for both of his roommates, who were almost certainly fast asleep. All three of them - Tavros, Karkat, and Sollux - always said he could go to them if he needed them, but… Well, he didn’t want to burden them.

He knew his therapist would tsk and tell him he’s not a burden, that his friends genuinely want to help him, but he always felt so damn  _ guilty  _ about it. He hated the reminder that his head was all fucked up and didn’t work properly, and despite the gentle and not-so gentle reminders his friends gave him that they knew that feeling too, he felt bad dumping all his shit on them.

Fuck, his mouth was dry, and it wasn’t like lying in bed was doing anything for him.

It took a monumental amount of effort to force himself to his feet and slouch down the hall to the kitchen. To his surprise, it wasn’t empty. Sollux was sitting at the kitchen table, the artificial light from their laptop casting harsh contrasts on their face. They glanced up at him where he’d stopped in the doorway.

“Hey.”

“...Sup, Sol.” Gamzee muttered, forcing a weak smile. He slumped over to the fridge and looked through their drinks, trying to find something that wasn’t caffeinated. “Didn’t think you’d be up and all at working still.”

“Me neither, but since when has insomnia ever listened to my plans.” Sollux said, and they sounded about as exhausted as Gamzee felt.

“Ain’t that the fuckin’ relatable shit of the day.” Gamzee sighed, finding an off-brand Capri-Sun that had probably been sitting in the fridge for months. Good enough. The motivation he’d worked up to get this far was quickly dying, so he shut the door and sat with his back against it. He and Sollux sat in relative silence for a while, broken only by the occasional tapping of keys on Sollux’s keyboard.

“Hey Sol?” Gamzee said after an indeterminate time. He picked at the lip of the Capri-Sun packet. “Do you think we’ll ever stop feeling like shit?”

“What, you mean like never feel like shit ever again in our lives? Probably the fuck not, unless you’re happy as hell right before you die, but then dying probably feels like shit too, so I’m gonna have to say no.” 

“No, I-” Gamzee huffed out a breath, “Man, you know what the fuck I’m meaning.”

“...Yeah, I know.” Sollux sighed and rubbed their eyes under their glasses. “I don’t know the answer to that, GZ. I fucking wish I did. It’s never gonna go away completely. We’re gonna be mentally ill in some way or another for our whole lives, and we just have to accept it.”

There was another long beat of silence between them. Gamzee managed to peel apart the lips of the Capri-Sun. 

“It’ll get better, though.” Sollux finally said. “Not to sound like a cheesy garbage motivational poster or something. Like I said, the mental illness shit isn’t going to go away entirely, but that’s why we’re taking meds and going to therapy. You  _ are  _ taking your meds, right?”

“Yeah, I been taking my motherfucking meds.”

“Good. That shit helps. You know it does.” Gamzee nodded, and Sollux continued. “And some days will be worse than others. You just have to, you know… hope they don’t last forever.”

Gamzee sniffed and rubbed at his eye. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. Sollux didn’t mention it, but they did scoot their chair back and stand up.

“Come on, let’s watch a movie or something. The couch has to be better than the floor.”

“I dunno, the floor’s pretty damn comfy.” Gamzee said, trying and failing to sound light. “All cool and shit on my toes.”

“Yeah right, get up.” Sollux offered their hand to him, pulling him to his feet and shuffling over to the couch. They laid down and didn’t protest when Gamzee snuggled up against them, knowing better than complaining by now. 

Gamzee fell asleep near the end of their second movie, when the sky was becoming a dark shade of blue instead of pitch black. Neither he nor Sollux mentioned it the next morning, but Gamzee made sure to bring Sollux’s favorite cookies back from work as a wordless thank you.

**+1**

“Are you fucking done yet?”

“Mm, nah.”

Karkat groaned and knocked his head back against the arm of the couch. “Really? Is this really my fucking fate now? To be crushed to death by a brainless lunk that decided to go boneless on top of my tragically fragile torso? ‘Make friends,’ they said. ‘Live with them! It’ll be fun!’ Well of course it’s my dumb fucking luck that the useless assholes I call ‘friends’ turn out to be overgrown cats!”

“Bro, you’re the one who put your hand in my hair.” Gamzee countered, nuzzling his head against Karkat’s hand for emphasis. “Motherfuckin’ meow.” 

Karkat made a face and extracted his hand from Gamzee’s curls to shove at his face. Gamzee just laughed. “You disgust me.”

“Can you idiots keep it down for once? I’m trying to fucking focus.” Sollux complained from the floor. Gamzee wasn’t exactly clear on why that was where they’d chosen to work on whatever the fuck coding project they were working on, but he’d long since given up trying to figure out Sollux’s decision processes. 

“Oh, are we bothering you?” Karkat snapped back instantly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we had a master hacker in our presence! By all means, continue whatever vitally important work you’re getting up to  _ upside down _ with your  _ dirty feet _ all over the  _ coffee table _ where we  _ eat!  _ When the Pentagon’s networks inexplicably go down, I’ll be sure to say ‘gee, I sure am glad I let that greasy goblin in my apartment focus on their super meaningful computer bullshittery!’”

“Yeah, yuck it up if you want me to hack into your twitter and force you to follow a bunch of crab porn accounts.”

“Y- Do those even  _ exist?” _

_ “Everything  _ exists, KK. It’s the Internet. I know you’re a baby boomer trapped in a toddler’s body, but keep the fuck up.”

Whatever retort Karkat was gearing up to spit at Sollux was cut short by a knock at the door. The three of them froze, and then Karkat and Sollux’s fingers were on their noses in a flash. Gamzee moved too slowly and groaned when he realized he’d lost. He rolled off of where he’d been snuggled on Karkat’s chest, and Karkat immediately took the opportunity to sit up and make a scene out of stretching. Gamzee snorted and went to the door. 

“Y- Oh! Fuck, hey Kurloz!” Gamzee perked up when the door opened to the unexpected sight of his brother. Kurloz lifted an unimpressed eyebrow.

_ You forgot I was coming over. _ It was not a question. Gamzee laughed sheepishly.

“Yeah, guess so. Come on in, bro! It’s just me and Karkat and Sollux right now.” Gamzee led him into the living room, interrupting whatever petty argument had picked back up between his roommates. They both glanced up and Karkat looked confused.

“Who the fuck?” Karkat said, gesturing at Kurloz. Gamzee gave him a confused look of his own, then gasped when he caught on.

“Oh shit! Y’all ain’t met before, huh?”

“No? Should we have?” Karkat said, and Kurloz made an amused noise next to Gamzee. Sollux lifted their head up from where they’d wormed slightly under the couch and looked him over.

“Are you that idiot’s brother?” They asked. The amused look on Kurloz’s face grew and he gave Sollux a half nod as if to say ‘I guess so.’ Sollux nodded and went back to their laptop. Karkat spluttered.

“How the fuck have we not met your brother?” He asked, volume growing to near a shriek with what might have been embarrassment.

“Uh, I dunno. Why didn’t you ever meet them?” Gamzee turned to Kurloz.

_ You lived farther away. Motherfucking inconvenient.  _ He signed in return.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was kind of a drive for Kurloz to get to me when I knew y’all.”

“Wait.” Karkat looked like he’d firmly lost his footing. “Can he hear us?” Kurloz’s lips quirked.

_ The motherfucking dead could hear him, obnoxious and loud as he is. _

Gamzee laughed at his brother’s signs and gave his own answer. “Yeah, bro, he can hear you. He just don’t get to speaking.” Kurloz tapped his arm, then shrugged a shoulder to show the bag on his back. “Oh, fuck yeah. We’re gonna go smoke on the balcony if y’all wanna join?”

“When has the answer to that ever been yes?” Karkat snapped, a little more comfortable snarking at Gamzee than dealing with the relative stranger standing in his living room. 

“I’m going out with Feferi in like half an hour, so that’s a big fat no.” Sollux said, their voice slightly muffled under the couch. Gamzee shrugged.

“Alright. You motherfuckers tell me if you need anything, yeah?” His roommates waved him off as he opened the sliding door the tiny balcony on their apartment and let Kurloz outside. He shut the door behind them and the two sat down as Kurloz set up his bong. 

They spent the first couple minutes in relative silence, passing the bong’s mouthpiece back and forth. Gamzee hummed softly as a familiar floaty feeling slowly worked its way into his head.

“Man, it’s been way too fucking long since I got high.” He said, leaning his head back against the sliding door. Kurloz gave him a sidelong look.

_ No dealer? _

“Nah, I got a dealer. I’ve just been-” He gestured, world’s coming slower with the high, “Cuttin’ back. My therapist says I should stop, uh…” He paused, attempting to remember her exact words, “Stop relyin’ on it as a crutch. Save it for special occasions and the motherfuckin’ like. If this ain’t a special occasion, seein’ my brother and all, I don’t know what is.” He grinned over at Kurloz and was surprised to see confusion written on his face.

Kurloz lifted his hands and hesitated a few times before finally signing  _ Therapist?  _ slowly like he wasn’t sure he was signing it correctly.

“Yeah, bro. Shit, I haven’t told you yet.” Gamzee sat up a bit. “I, uh. I’ve been seein’ a therapist. A motherfucker’s been all at diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.”

That deepened the confusion on Kurloz’s face. Gamzee got distracted watching the setting sunlight glint off of one of his snakebites as his mouth twitched in confusion, and he almost forgot to pay attention to Kurloz’s hands as he attempted a sign, faltered, started to fingerspell,  _ s-c- _ , before getting frustrated and just signing  _ The fuck? When did this happen? _

“Shit, I dunno. Almost a year?” Gamzee shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but an irritated look flickered across Kurloz’s face.

_ Why didn’t you tell me? _

“Didn’t seem like something I should all up and bother you with. I didn’t want to make a motherfucker worried.”

_ Stupid motherfucker.  _ Kurloz sat back against the railing.  _ I worry about you anyway. _

“Hah. Yeah. Should’ve figured. Sorry bro.” Gamzee smiled apologetically, and Kurloz sighed, waving him off. Kurloz took another hit off the bong and stared into the trees that bordered their side of the apartment complex. Gamzee had just about fully zoned out when Kurloz poked at him with his shoe to get his attention again.

_ You really are... okay? Those motherfuckers gave you no trouble?  _ He emphasized his point with a jerk of his head in the direction of the living room.

“Wh… Oh! Shit, yeah, bro! I’m okay  _ because  _ of those motherfuckers!” Gamzee enthused, always happy to talk about his friends. “Man, it was fuckin’ terrible, but Karkat and Sollux, they stayed all by me and took me to therapy and make sure I take my meds and shit. They’re motherfuckin’ good to me.”

_ Good. They so much as make you uneasy, you tell me. Understand? _

“Man, you don’t have to get your worry on.” Gamzee laughed. “They’re not gonna get at hurting me.”

_ If you say so. _

“I do! Shit, bro, it’s like… I dunno, I just think I’m all at a place where things are… things are chill. I ain’t gotta worry about gettin’ kicked out no more, I’ve got real loyal folks who make me feel like I can be loved at, my jobs’re good… Oh shit! Oh man, I should’ve brought you some shit from work! We made these motherfuckin’ muffins today, they got pear and ginger in them.  _ So  _ fuckin’ good.”

_ Maybe next time.  _ Kurloz’s lips quirked in a slight smile.

“Hell yeah, bro, any time. Why’d you get at coming to visit out of nowhere anyway?”

Kurloz’s small smile spread into a full grin, and he tugged his backpack over, passing the bong back to Gamzee while he rifled around. After some digging around in the bag, he finally pulled out what he’d been looking for: a thin silver ring with a green gem in the center. Gamzee stared at it in befuddlement for a moment, then gasped when it all clicked.

“No shit! You’re gettin’ motherfuckin’ engaged?” Kurloz didn’t deign that obvious question a response, just sitting back against the wall with a smug look on his face. Gamzee let out an excited laugh. “When’re you asking her?”

_ Soon as I get home. Wanted to tell you first. _

“Shit… No fucking way, bro.” Gamzee laughed again, leaning against the wall too. “How long have y’all been dating now?”

_ Nine years. _

“Mother _ fuck _ …” Gamzee tried to bite back his grin and put on his best imitation of Kurloz’s earlier expression, trying to summon a look of ‘serious brother’ and completely failing. “She make you happy?”

Kurloz scoffed and shoved at him. All the same, he was laughing too, quiet and warm.  _ Shut up.  _ He then added, a sappier expression poking through on his face.  _ Meulin is the best thing to happen to me.  _

“Aw…” Gamzee cooed, then laughed when Kurloz gave him the finger. “I’m motherfuckin’ happy for you, I really am.”

Kurloz spun the ring around on his fingers, then put it back in his bag. The two went back to passing the bong back and forth, talking about nothing at all and resting in silence when the urge arose. It was nice. Peaceful. 

Eventually, Kurloz decided it was time for him to head home. He really had planned for this to only be a day trip, he said, and he wanted to be able to drive home before it was too late at night. Gamzee offered to walk him to the door, and they found Karkat in the exact spot where they had left him, slouched on the couch with his laptop. Karkat narrowed his eyes at Kurloz and asked if he was safe to drive, and Kurloz outright laughed at him. Gamzee gave his brother a tight hug on his way out, despite Kurloz’s annoyed scoff when he did so.

“Invite me to the wedding, alright?”

_ Of course. _ Kurloz rolled his eyes a little, but he smiled at Gamzee anyway as he left.

Gamzee meandered his way back towards the couch and flopped down next to Karkat, snuggling into his side. Karkat, to his credit, just grunted in mild irritation and shifted his arm to give him room. It made Gamzee a little warm inside that Karkat didn’t automatically shut his laptop and screech about privacy like he would have just a few years earlier.

“Good talk?” He asked instead, still typing away on his laptop. Gamzee hummed, the weed finally catching up and making him sleepy. 

“Yeah. All motherfuckin’ good in the hood, bro.”

“Do you say shit like that to be purposefully annoying?”

“Uh, no?” Gamzee blinked up at him, genuinely confused.

“Oh, so you’re just naturally like this. I should know by now.” Karkat rolled his eyes. Gamzee just shrugged and nuzzled closer.

“Hey, Karkat?” He said, eyes drooping closed. 

“Yeah?” The sounds of typing filled the air as background noise.

“I’m motherfuckin’ grateful for you.” The typing abruptly stopped. Gamzee opened his eyes to see why and found Karkat staring down at him.

“Are you okay?” Karkat asked, vaguely bewildered.

“Yeah! Can’t a motherfucker express his gratitude to his friends?”

“I guess, but…” Karkat shook his head and went back to typing. “Ugh, whatever, I’m not letting you distract me when I have to finish analyzing this case study before my professor can legally skin me alive for not turning it in on time.”

“That doesn’t sound any kind of safe, bro.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to college.”

Gamzee hummed and shut his eyes again. He fell asleep curled up against his friend, warm and happy and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> im love the he......
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr @waitineedaname !!


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